If anyone tells me it's "that time of the month" i'll staple their junk to the floor!

apologies in advance to all of my readers about the bitch-fest. perhaps getting this out on paper (screen?) will do a little something to alleviate the yuck feeling i've had all day.

oooookay, here we go. today has been REALLY rough. i honestly have no idea why. actually, i do. what i don't know is why it suddenly kicked into overdrive today. i miss my daughter like hell. i miss michigan. i miss my family, my friends, and mike. i'm sick and tired of being yanked around by the army and made to jump through hoops. i'm tired of NCOs being all nicey-nice to my face, then turning around and doing all they can in their power to make sure that things are as bumpy as possible for my family. i don't have a vehicle right now to just get out of the house for a little while...therefore, i have an insane case of cabin fever going on. i'm tired of never being appreciated around here. a "thank you" now and again for cleaning the house, running errands, taking care of kids, cooking means, etc would be nice. instead, i simply feel taken for granted.

here's the kicker. i ran out of my lunesta (no car to go to the doctor's office for a refill), so i've been taking trazodone again. this was actually made originally as an antidepressant but it made people too sleepy. it's now used only as a sleep aid. seems that they decided to take out the ANTI part. I've heard that can happen, but it's either this or get NO sleep...literally. last time i didn't take my sleep aid, i went for three days without a wink of sleep. naturally, i want my regular sleeping pattern back, but i haven't had that for over half a year. i used to enjoy going to bed...now i just dread laying awake for hours.

ok, i'm done. if you've made it to the end of this, i apologize for the mush your brain has turned into. the venting helped, though! now, excuse me while i go crawl under my big, fluffy blanket for a few millenia.


"When the going gets tough arm yourself with ammo, cowgirl up, and come out with both barrels blazing!"

[ERROR 403: user has become unresponsive due to excessive fatigue]

you know what i really hate? insomnia. i really truly despise it. matter of fact, if that sandman doesn't bring me some sleep dust SOON, i'm going to hose his selfish ass down until he's nothing but MUD. yup, i'm tired, kind of cranky, and a bit tired of these sleeping issues i've been having for a good seven months now.

another thing that's getting on my nerves? westboro baptist church...except they're not like any kind of church i know. these people seem to get some kind of sadistic pleasure from picketing soldiers' funerals. come on people, REALLY?! their signs say things like the following:

thank god for IEDs
thank god for dead soldiers
thank god for 9/11
god hates fags like you
god hates america

really now??? personally, i hope that one of their precious IEDs blows up their "church" during a sunday morning service. what's even worse is the battle of whether they're right or wrong. i understand free speech and all...and whether i agree or not with what people say, i respect it. HOWEVER, what these people are doing is harassment, slanderous, and causing emotional distress. a man was laying his son to rest; he was a marine who died in the line of duty. WBC was picketing the funeral and yelling at them so loud that they couldn't even hear the preacher's final prayer. luckily, the patriot riders got there and started revving their engines, pushing them back, and whatnot. thank god for motorcyclists with sense!

anyway, the father is going to the supreme court next month. he is suing to put the "church" out of business. i hope he wins!!!! this country doesn't need morons like these using religion to justify hate crimes. i'm embarrassed that they're connecting MY religion with their disgusting activities. hell, their website even says godhatesamerica.com...is that really necessary? does that sound like a church to you?! what's worse is that missouri just passed a law stating that WBC can burn and deface the united states flag during their demonstrations. they must be liberals, that's all i can say to that.

so that's how i feel about that...i'm damn proud of my country, the soldiers that fight for our freedoms, and the rights i have. WBC can stop ruining it for the rest of us, TYVM.


"if you won't stand behind our troops, please go stand in front of them."

Perfect sometimes happens in an imperfect world

so it seems that the new blog background i put up a couple days ago has taken on an added meaning today! the reason for that has also put me in a STELLAR mood (rain on my parade, and i'll bitch slap you with my umbrella...just so we're clear!). as of *checks watch* 10 minutes ago from the time i type this, i am no longer single. sorry ladies, i am officially hooked up, in a relationship with, dating and any other way you can think of to describe it, with michael reinke! WOO WOO! it's great how things can turn around. right when i'm missing having some romance and warm-fuzziness in my life, it happens. karma can be a bitch, but she's also a great friend if you treat her right! interestingly enough, mike also happens to be the brother of one of my best friends! added bonus! naturally, i'll have to find some way to torment her to no end, but that's not exactly at the top of my list right now! ;)



"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet whether through time, place, or circumstance. The thread my stretch or tangle, but it will never break"

I'm the parent, you're the stranger. Keep it that way.

so what is it about pregnancy and parenthood that makes strangers feel that it's necessary to butt in? i remember when i was pregnant with both of my kids, one of the biggest questions was "are you getting an epidural?" a lot of people (most of them weren't parents, ironically) would tell me that painkillers are so horrible for a baby's health and that if i use them, i don't care about my kids enough. uhm, excuse me? who died and made you all that and a bag of chips?! if these people were to properly do their research, the pain killers have just as much of a chance of harming the baby as going it natural does. think about it: when we're in excruciating pain (men, pull your teeth out through your ass and that's about 1/3 of labor pain!), our blood pressure skyrockets, our adrenaline goes crazy, and our body makes insulin double time...along with a host of other things. combine these together, and our body is basically giving us a cornucopia of hormones and chemicals that are as likely to negatively impact the baby. i think i'd rather have a nice, pain-free birth experience!

and what about after the baby is born?! ooooh, boy, they're at it again! the one i've noticed most often is a stranger looking at an infant and saying "wow, that baby looks a little bit [chunky/thin], have you been feeding him [enough/too much]? my daughter is on the small side. she's two and weighs about 26 lbs. however, the doctors say she's well within the weight bracket for her age. my son is a perfectly average-sized baby. i still get those remarks!

of course, there's also the ever-popular "do you bottle-feed or breast feed?" speaking for myself, i can't breastfeed because of medical issues...yet some of these people seem to think that feeding my children formula is the equivalent to locking them in a cellar for their lives. i tried nursing my daughter for the first week of her life...she went from 6 lbs 4 oz to 5 lbs 1 oz. if she would've lost another two ounces, she would've been hospitalized. no, thanks, i'll take my chances with the evils of powdered formula!

now, i'm not saying that all advice is bad, but ask the mom or mom-to-be before putting your two cents in! if you happen to find out that she's using painkillers during birth, suggesting a good one is perfectly acceptable. telling her she's a heinous child-endangerer is NOT.

fine line, people...don't cross it.

Love like it will never hurt

so something that happened today got me thinking about how the vast majority of people (especially in the USA) find it necessary to keep what they're feeling bottled up inside. where exactly did this come from and what on earth started it?! hell, if everyone were completely up front, don't y'all agree with me that things would be much easier? no backstabbing or anything like that. hell, on the flip side, you wouldn't have two people practically throwing themselves out of someone's path simply because they're afraid to voice feelings...i think we all know which feelings i'm talking about!

today's society seems to be drilling the idea that if we fall for someone (or can't stand them) that it's supposed to be kept inside, especially for us womenfolk. i mean, pick up practically any women's magazine and you'll see TONS of articles about how to land a guy. what on earth could possibly be more effective than simply walking up to him and saying "hey, you! yeah, you! i like you. want to go out sometime?" it's very nearly guaranteed that a man (or woman) would be flattered!

so come on, people. get rid of the self-conscious bit, walk up to someone and just TELL THEM! in english, preferably! just DO it (okay, mind out of the gutter, people, seriously!). :)

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: harassing a smoker is actually more hazardous than smoking!

ok, while i was all "rah, rah, women!" another thing hit my mind as i brought my cigarette up to my lips and took a puff. it won't be too long before i can't even smoke outside my own house....and then right after that, it'll probably be as illegal as snorting crack cocaine! before everyone starts telling me that it's oh-so-bad for my health, i do know this! i'm trying to quit, but i've always said i'm not a quitter! seriously, though, this thing is ROUGH! and come on, people, telling me i can't have a cigarette is like waving it over my head and watching me jump around like a chimpanzee to get to it! it's not even right!

if i go to a bar, i want to be able to have a cigarette and a beer at the same time! if i go to the airport, i want to be able to find a smoking room WITHOUT having to go back through security and walk halfway to china just to get outside! and what's so horrible about a few hotel rooms for smokers?

smokers have their freedoms, too!

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power

so, i felt like writing today and was trying to think of a topic since not much has changed my personal life. then, it hits me! i am SO tired of having to walk all the way down to the end of the street to get my mail! Okay, okay, I'm kidding. did you think i was really going to make a whole post about the distance of my mailbox (it does piss me off, though)?!

really, i figured i would yap about the power of the feminine gender! actually, yes, i'm serious this time! think about it, though. us women manage to keep the house clean, watch the kiddos, manage the finances, cook a yummy dinner, listen about our SO's bad/good day at work, and still manage to look good while doing it! most women these days even hold down full-time jobs at the same time! how awesome are we, ladies?! if you want superhuman power, look no further! we bleed without injury, we make boneless things hard (wink), get wet without water, and are more elastic "down there" than a rubber band! we all know that men couldn't handle childbirth!

....now to just find a cape!

of course, we still need our wonderful menfolk! who else is going to go kill that big, nasty spider in the corner of the room? or check on that noise downstairs (underwear and a baseball bat, anyone?)? and, hey, battery power only goes so far! us women need someone to lean into when all of that day-to-day stuff gets to us. that's our kryptonite. a good man makes all the difference! romance, kindness, hot sex, those killer broad shoulders...ohh yeah! men are awesome...but superwoman is more realistic!

When life gives you rainy days, play in the puddles!

so, remember those 180s i was talking about earlier? yep, you guessed it...it reared its head again in my life! my whole life is about to change. between the divorce, my new job, moving back across the country, and other changes, things will be very different!

on a different note, i have recently been told that these "daggone suth'ners" have corrupted my speech! matter of fact, once i started thinking of it, i came up with a LOT of southern sayings and words that have been creeping their way into my speech. yep, that's right. i can now say "fixin to," "daggone," "y'all," and "yuhnta" (going to the store, yuhnta go with?) with the best of them! i now refer to pop as soda. however, some aspects will never change. my yankee "drawl" will be the same as always...fast enough to make any redneck's head spin! some little northern speech quirks will never be lost, EH?

all in all, things are going good! i'm happy with the way things are going; in fact, happier than i've been in a long time! matter of fact, i fell asleep without my lunesta last night! WOOO!


"Don't look for someone to complete you. you are already whole! look for someone who compliments you and makes your life even better!" ~Jen Galvin

Housewives DO work

one of my friends (who shall remain nameless) just told me that her husband told her that housewives don't work. excuse me?! let me start off by citing this excerpt i just read online by an author named Betty Freidan:

Can the problem that has no name be somehow related to the domesroutine of the housewife? When a woman tries to put the problem into words, she often merely describes the daily life she leads. What is there in this recital of comfortable domestic detail that could possibly cause such a feeling of desperation? Is she trapped simply by the enormous demands of her role as modern housewife: wife, mistress, mother, nurse, consumer, cook, chauffeur, expert on interior decoration, child care, appliance repair, furniture refinishing, nutrition, referee, chaperone, and education? Her day is fragmented as she rushes from dishwasher to washing machine to telephone to dryer to station wagon to supermarket, and delivers Johnny to the Little League field, takes Janey to dancing class, gets the lawnmower fixed and meets the 6:45. She can never spend more than 15 minutes on any one thing; she has no time to read books, only magazines; even if she had time, she has lost the power to concentrate. At the end of the day, she is so terribly tired that sometimes her husband has to take over and put the children to bed

.

seems to me that this puts it very well. if it weren't for us women, some of the men out there wouldn't know what to do with themselves. hell, lonnie has a hard time cooking kraft macaroni and cheese! the man could scorch water, i swear! let's face it: every good man needs a good woman!

matter of fact, lonnie was deployed to haiti for nearly two months starting back in january. five days before he came home, my daughter jessica got really sick. i sat with her in the emergency room waiting area for TEN HOURS. she was listless, throwing up all over me every few minutes, and both of us were exhausted. two days after that, she was better but i was the one that was sick. so sick, in fact, that i had to butt-scoot down the stairs with her because i was too weak to stand up, let alone carry my daughter. how does this not sould like work??? of course it's worth it...but it's still the hardest thing i've ever done.

we don't get holidays. we don't get sick days. we don't get vacation time. we're on call 24/7 (oftentimes, going without sleep for long stretches at a time. we do the ULTIMATE job.

however, all that is about to change! i'll be moving back to michigan as soon as needed paperwork gets signed. i'll be doing the whole "single, working mom" thing again. this isn't necessarily a bad thing; i desperately need a change of pace! to all the SAHMs out there...GREAT JOB!!!

GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE!!!!!!!!!

If duct tape or advil don't work, you're screwed!

so i fixed my car today, hillbilly style! I only used four things: needlenose pliers (to loosen the negative battery charge so i didn't kill myself), tinfoil, a ponytail holder, and DUCT TAPE!!!! WOOO!!!!

anyway, Jess has requested that i say how i did what, so here goes! y'all know that bunch of wires that ends in a round piece of metal to screw onto the main fuse box under the hood? well, the nut went bye-bye and we didn't notice, so it started arcing. the arcing caused the bolt to melt down (thus making it impossible to simply change the bolt). i unhooked the battery so the fuse box didn't zap the shit out of me. then, i took my tinfoil and wrapped it around those two pieces to stop the arcing (the charge will go through any metal, including common kitchen tinfoil!). then, i put duct tape around it all to hold it down. my lights were still flashing on and off a little bit, so i grabbed one of my elastic hair ties, cut it in one spot, and tied it around the whole job. that kept it in place adequately enough for the car to start!!!!!!!!!

I ARE SMART!



~If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape. if it should move and doesn't, use WD40!~

To = towards. Two = 2. Too = also. And tomorrow we learn to tie our shoes!

so what has happened to the lost art of speaking and writing proper english?! more and more in my english classes (both back in high school and now in college), people can't follow simple essay instructions. i had an assignment due yesterday in english. it was straightforward enough: pick a problem in you community, write 4-6 pages about it, and propose two solutions. include thesis, intro, body, conclusion, and proper grammar/spelling. use APA format (citing sources, mostly).

not hard, right? WRONG, apparently. case in point. this is an assignment submitted (publicly) by a fellow classmate for this assignment.

The problem in all communities is “Who Will Help to Control Litter!” This is a needed discussion, because no one is taking the responsibility to clean up behind themselves.

This problem of people dumping trash has no beginning, but it should have an ending. It needs conscience minded people to understand that this earth we live in is not a huge trash can.

I believe that all of us humans are responsible for Littering the streets, parks, public transportation, sewers, lakes and oceans.

“To understand who are suffering from litter is people who makes an income on using what nature gives us (not only for ourselves) but for everyone else”?

How it affects communities is the overall seeing some areas full of litter, from abandon buildings, dirty yards, and unswept streets just to name a few. What happened to the way people took pride in their neighborhoods years ago, as caring about their surroundings.

Here is one possible solution is to take the time to educate ourselves in researching the websites that has some good information to get us involved in litter control. Like keep it in your car and wait to you get home to dispose of it in the garbage can. And cigarettes should be disposed of and place in the proper container and not dropped in the streets. Second solution is to have a community campaign or organization to help curb litter. Like adopt a highway. How about adopting a street or park and so on?

I feel that once everyone gets the sense of how serious this is in saving our Planet from refuse, we all have a better chance of keeping down germs and our Communities will look more beautiful in appearance. This is a tough situation, but” We all need to get involved!”

This online resource (on litter control programs) shows good support with communities on litter control.

A) 10 Litter Control- Has solutions on improving the image and appearance of our communities ( for instance… provides solutions to help citizens to plan their own groups and the council gives supplies to help you get started!”)

ok. i see too many problems here to list...my BLOG FOR FUN has better english mechanics than her COLLEGE ASSIGNMENT does!!!! wtf, people?! do you seriously care so little about our language and college classes that you'll turn in trash like this?! seriously...


on the up side, it makes my assignment look like God's work!!!! so...if my teacher grades on a curve, i'll have an instant A with all of the extra points! LOL

Let's write a novel!

so i am now considering going out on a limb and writing a novel! i have been trying to figure out something to do. since i really enjoy writing, a novel seems like the logical choice. i have always had a passion for protecting children of abuse, sexually or otherwise. i plan to come up with a unique storyline and go from there. suggestions are welcome!

my deadline? one year from today.

BAD day

so today started off horrible and just got worse from there. i've been going rounds with direcTV for the last few days because they installed my dish on the roof. they'd told me they got approval from housing, but (lo and behold) they didn't. sooo, now i have housing up my ass threatening eviction and directv is delaying coming out here to take it down!!! housing has been bothering me all day about this and i'm sick of it.

our car broke down again...and this time, i think it's computer problems. lights are flashing, warnings are dinging, the car's convinced the door's open when it's not, it randomly shuts off, etc. we just replaced the alternator and starter with ALL of our extra money this paycheck, so we're pretty much screwed. THANKS OBAMA FOR THE SHITTY MILITARY PAY!!!!!!!!!

not only that, but lonnie's chain of command has been treating him like shit and threatening chapter 14 on him once a week or so.....yesterday and today has been especially bad...AND IT WAS ALL OVER A DIRTY FLASH!!! i had JUST cleaned the damned thing, so i KNOW it was clean. not only that, but the NCO who was chewing him out had HOLES in his own beret!!!! pathetic, i tell ya. i would LOVE to get my hands on mejia or hanes...i'd give either one of them an ass chewing they wouldn't forget until their dying day!

jessica's just about two, so naturally, she's constantly throwing temper tantrums. couple that with new baby jealousy and missing-dad-itis, and she's CONSTANTLY howling...i love the girl to death, but i swear i have a headache every day anymore. of course, having a newborn in the house means i can barely get anything done, so my house is messier than it usually is...which really bugs me and makes it easier for jess to get into things.

i sure hope tomorrow goes better.......

NObama!!!

So what's up with the way obama's treating troops?! i mean, seriously, does he really care that little about our country's defenders? oh, wait, of course he doesn't care...he doesn't even have enough pride in the country he runs to put his hand over his heart for the pledge of allegience or national anthem! first, he proposes a ridiculously low pay increase (1.3%, then congress raised it to 1.9%). Seriously, this isn't even keeping up with inflation, so it's basically a pay DEcrease!!! most enlisted military families live paycheck to paycheck as is, which is sad considering what our soldiers do for this country.

then, he cuts the number of slots for several MOSs, including medic (as well as budget for civillian doctors). what does this mean? if one of my children get sick, the average wait in the on-post ER is about nine hours!!! INSANE! i have to schedule appointments months in advance in the pediatrics unit because of shortage of pediatricians. does this seem wrong to anyone else?!

there's lots more (and i'll probably blog about it at a later point when i get worked up about that jackass again), but i'm tired and am going to bed. january 2013 can't come soon enough!!!


~Let's do the hokey pokey on election day: put the right ones in and put the left ones out!!!~

Changes in life

ever feel like your floating above your life, watching it happen...yet not quite living it? three years ago, i was finishing high school, holding down a job i hated (silicone factory), and my biggest worry was what i was going to do on saturday night. now, all that's changed. i'm married (kind of). i have two absolutely beautiful children (Jessica will be two in July and Lonnie Ray is 6 weeks old), of whom i'm a stay at home mom to. i'm in college for law enforcement and getting ready to apply to the cumberland county sheriff's department.

isn't in amazing how fast a person's life can do a complete 180?! it feels like i should still be that carefree teenager, yet here i am...all growed up! *toothy smile* so, basically, this blog will be about all things me. my family, my thoughts on various things (BEWARE: i'm into politics, am extremely conservative, and HATE obama...you've been warned!), and whatever random things pop into my head. :) happy reading!