I'm the parent, you're the stranger. Keep it that way.

so what is it about pregnancy and parenthood that makes strangers feel that it's necessary to butt in? i remember when i was pregnant with both of my kids, one of the biggest questions was "are you getting an epidural?" a lot of people (most of them weren't parents, ironically) would tell me that painkillers are so horrible for a baby's health and that if i use them, i don't care about my kids enough. uhm, excuse me? who died and made you all that and a bag of chips?! if these people were to properly do their research, the pain killers have just as much of a chance of harming the baby as going it natural does. think about it: when we're in excruciating pain (men, pull your teeth out through your ass and that's about 1/3 of labor pain!), our blood pressure skyrockets, our adrenaline goes crazy, and our body makes insulin double time...along with a host of other things. combine these together, and our body is basically giving us a cornucopia of hormones and chemicals that are as likely to negatively impact the baby. i think i'd rather have a nice, pain-free birth experience!

and what about after the baby is born?! ooooh, boy, they're at it again! the one i've noticed most often is a stranger looking at an infant and saying "wow, that baby looks a little bit [chunky/thin], have you been feeding him [enough/too much]? my daughter is on the small side. she's two and weighs about 26 lbs. however, the doctors say she's well within the weight bracket for her age. my son is a perfectly average-sized baby. i still get those remarks!

of course, there's also the ever-popular "do you bottle-feed or breast feed?" speaking for myself, i can't breastfeed because of medical issues...yet some of these people seem to think that feeding my children formula is the equivalent to locking them in a cellar for their lives. i tried nursing my daughter for the first week of her life...she went from 6 lbs 4 oz to 5 lbs 1 oz. if she would've lost another two ounces, she would've been hospitalized. no, thanks, i'll take my chances with the evils of powdered formula!

now, i'm not saying that all advice is bad, but ask the mom or mom-to-be before putting your two cents in! if you happen to find out that she's using painkillers during birth, suggesting a good one is perfectly acceptable. telling her she's a heinous child-endangerer is NOT.

fine line, people...don't cross it.