If anyone tells me it's "that time of the month" i'll staple their junk to the floor!

apologies in advance to all of my readers about the bitch-fest. perhaps getting this out on paper (screen?) will do a little something to alleviate the yuck feeling i've had all day.

oooookay, here we go. today has been REALLY rough. i honestly have no idea why. actually, i do. what i don't know is why it suddenly kicked into overdrive today. i miss my daughter like hell. i miss michigan. i miss my family, my friends, and mike. i'm sick and tired of being yanked around by the army and made to jump through hoops. i'm tired of NCOs being all nicey-nice to my face, then turning around and doing all they can in their power to make sure that things are as bumpy as possible for my family. i don't have a vehicle right now to just get out of the house for a little while...therefore, i have an insane case of cabin fever going on. i'm tired of never being appreciated around here. a "thank you" now and again for cleaning the house, running errands, taking care of kids, cooking means, etc would be nice. instead, i simply feel taken for granted.

here's the kicker. i ran out of my lunesta (no car to go to the doctor's office for a refill), so i've been taking trazodone again. this was actually made originally as an antidepressant but it made people too sleepy. it's now used only as a sleep aid. seems that they decided to take out the ANTI part. I've heard that can happen, but it's either this or get NO sleep...literally. last time i didn't take my sleep aid, i went for three days without a wink of sleep. naturally, i want my regular sleeping pattern back, but i haven't had that for over half a year. i used to enjoy going to bed...now i just dread laying awake for hours.

ok, i'm done. if you've made it to the end of this, i apologize for the mush your brain has turned into. the venting helped, though! now, excuse me while i go crawl under my big, fluffy blanket for a few millenia.


"When the going gets tough arm yourself with ammo, cowgirl up, and come out with both barrels blazing!"

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you know what i really hate? insomnia. i really truly despise it. matter of fact, if that sandman doesn't bring me some sleep dust SOON, i'm going to hose his selfish ass down until he's nothing but MUD. yup, i'm tired, kind of cranky, and a bit tired of these sleeping issues i've been having for a good seven months now.

another thing that's getting on my nerves? westboro baptist church...except they're not like any kind of church i know. these people seem to get some kind of sadistic pleasure from picketing soldiers' funerals. come on people, REALLY?! their signs say things like the following:

thank god for IEDs
thank god for dead soldiers
thank god for 9/11
god hates fags like you
god hates america

really now??? personally, i hope that one of their precious IEDs blows up their "church" during a sunday morning service. what's even worse is the battle of whether they're right or wrong. i understand free speech and all...and whether i agree or not with what people say, i respect it. HOWEVER, what these people are doing is harassment, slanderous, and causing emotional distress. a man was laying his son to rest; he was a marine who died in the line of duty. WBC was picketing the funeral and yelling at them so loud that they couldn't even hear the preacher's final prayer. luckily, the patriot riders got there and started revving their engines, pushing them back, and whatnot. thank god for motorcyclists with sense!

anyway, the father is going to the supreme court next month. he is suing to put the "church" out of business. i hope he wins!!!! this country doesn't need morons like these using religion to justify hate crimes. i'm embarrassed that they're connecting MY religion with their disgusting activities. hell, their website even says godhatesamerica.com...is that really necessary? does that sound like a church to you?! what's worse is that missouri just passed a law stating that WBC can burn and deface the united states flag during their demonstrations. they must be liberals, that's all i can say to that.

so that's how i feel about that...i'm damn proud of my country, the soldiers that fight for our freedoms, and the rights i have. WBC can stop ruining it for the rest of us, TYVM.


"if you won't stand behind our troops, please go stand in front of them."

Perfect sometimes happens in an imperfect world

so it seems that the new blog background i put up a couple days ago has taken on an added meaning today! the reason for that has also put me in a STELLAR mood (rain on my parade, and i'll bitch slap you with my umbrella...just so we're clear!). as of *checks watch* 10 minutes ago from the time i type this, i am no longer single. sorry ladies, i am officially hooked up, in a relationship with, dating and any other way you can think of to describe it, with michael reinke! WOO WOO! it's great how things can turn around. right when i'm missing having some romance and warm-fuzziness in my life, it happens. karma can be a bitch, but she's also a great friend if you treat her right! interestingly enough, mike also happens to be the brother of one of my best friends! added bonus! naturally, i'll have to find some way to torment her to no end, but that's not exactly at the top of my list right now! ;)



"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet whether through time, place, or circumstance. The thread my stretch or tangle, but it will never break"

I'm the parent, you're the stranger. Keep it that way.

so what is it about pregnancy and parenthood that makes strangers feel that it's necessary to butt in? i remember when i was pregnant with both of my kids, one of the biggest questions was "are you getting an epidural?" a lot of people (most of them weren't parents, ironically) would tell me that painkillers are so horrible for a baby's health and that if i use them, i don't care about my kids enough. uhm, excuse me? who died and made you all that and a bag of chips?! if these people were to properly do their research, the pain killers have just as much of a chance of harming the baby as going it natural does. think about it: when we're in excruciating pain (men, pull your teeth out through your ass and that's about 1/3 of labor pain!), our blood pressure skyrockets, our adrenaline goes crazy, and our body makes insulin double time...along with a host of other things. combine these together, and our body is basically giving us a cornucopia of hormones and chemicals that are as likely to negatively impact the baby. i think i'd rather have a nice, pain-free birth experience!

and what about after the baby is born?! ooooh, boy, they're at it again! the one i've noticed most often is a stranger looking at an infant and saying "wow, that baby looks a little bit [chunky/thin], have you been feeding him [enough/too much]? my daughter is on the small side. she's two and weighs about 26 lbs. however, the doctors say she's well within the weight bracket for her age. my son is a perfectly average-sized baby. i still get those remarks!

of course, there's also the ever-popular "do you bottle-feed or breast feed?" speaking for myself, i can't breastfeed because of medical issues...yet some of these people seem to think that feeding my children formula is the equivalent to locking them in a cellar for their lives. i tried nursing my daughter for the first week of her life...she went from 6 lbs 4 oz to 5 lbs 1 oz. if she would've lost another two ounces, she would've been hospitalized. no, thanks, i'll take my chances with the evils of powdered formula!

now, i'm not saying that all advice is bad, but ask the mom or mom-to-be before putting your two cents in! if you happen to find out that she's using painkillers during birth, suggesting a good one is perfectly acceptable. telling her she's a heinous child-endangerer is NOT.

fine line, people...don't cross it.

Love like it will never hurt

so something that happened today got me thinking about how the vast majority of people (especially in the USA) find it necessary to keep what they're feeling bottled up inside. where exactly did this come from and what on earth started it?! hell, if everyone were completely up front, don't y'all agree with me that things would be much easier? no backstabbing or anything like that. hell, on the flip side, you wouldn't have two people practically throwing themselves out of someone's path simply because they're afraid to voice feelings...i think we all know which feelings i'm talking about!

today's society seems to be drilling the idea that if we fall for someone (or can't stand them) that it's supposed to be kept inside, especially for us womenfolk. i mean, pick up practically any women's magazine and you'll see TONS of articles about how to land a guy. what on earth could possibly be more effective than simply walking up to him and saying "hey, you! yeah, you! i like you. want to go out sometime?" it's very nearly guaranteed that a man (or woman) would be flattered!

so come on, people. get rid of the self-conscious bit, walk up to someone and just TELL THEM! in english, preferably! just DO it (okay, mind out of the gutter, people, seriously!). :)

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: harassing a smoker is actually more hazardous than smoking!

ok, while i was all "rah, rah, women!" another thing hit my mind as i brought my cigarette up to my lips and took a puff. it won't be too long before i can't even smoke outside my own house....and then right after that, it'll probably be as illegal as snorting crack cocaine! before everyone starts telling me that it's oh-so-bad for my health, i do know this! i'm trying to quit, but i've always said i'm not a quitter! seriously, though, this thing is ROUGH! and come on, people, telling me i can't have a cigarette is like waving it over my head and watching me jump around like a chimpanzee to get to it! it's not even right!

if i go to a bar, i want to be able to have a cigarette and a beer at the same time! if i go to the airport, i want to be able to find a smoking room WITHOUT having to go back through security and walk halfway to china just to get outside! and what's so horrible about a few hotel rooms for smokers?

smokers have their freedoms, too!

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power

so, i felt like writing today and was trying to think of a topic since not much has changed my personal life. then, it hits me! i am SO tired of having to walk all the way down to the end of the street to get my mail! Okay, okay, I'm kidding. did you think i was really going to make a whole post about the distance of my mailbox (it does piss me off, though)?!

really, i figured i would yap about the power of the feminine gender! actually, yes, i'm serious this time! think about it, though. us women manage to keep the house clean, watch the kiddos, manage the finances, cook a yummy dinner, listen about our SO's bad/good day at work, and still manage to look good while doing it! most women these days even hold down full-time jobs at the same time! how awesome are we, ladies?! if you want superhuman power, look no further! we bleed without injury, we make boneless things hard (wink), get wet without water, and are more elastic "down there" than a rubber band! we all know that men couldn't handle childbirth!

....now to just find a cape!

of course, we still need our wonderful menfolk! who else is going to go kill that big, nasty spider in the corner of the room? or check on that noise downstairs (underwear and a baseball bat, anyone?)? and, hey, battery power only goes so far! us women need someone to lean into when all of that day-to-day stuff gets to us. that's our kryptonite. a good man makes all the difference! romance, kindness, hot sex, those killer broad shoulders...ohh yeah! men are awesome...but superwoman is more realistic!